I hovered on the edge of an epiphany today. I must be difficult to be in a relationship with. I feel like I’m never perfect enough to let myself relax and have fun. I always need to get certain things in order so I’m not self-conscious. They aren’t even the smartest things to be so hung up on. I obsess over things like:

• my apartment is never as clean as it should be
• I don’t have/make time to shave my legs as often as I want
• my stomach is almost never flat
• I am, more often than not, about 5 pounds overweight

So… the lightbulb almost went off in my head today. I almost got it that if I could just accept these things and not be so demanding of myself, I would probably enjoy relationships more. But then the bulb blew out and I went back to being me.